I am a loner?
Posted on: February 15, 2012
This is another boring topic of meself.
P-joule were lecturing me for an hour this evening because of my attitude in giving chance in love. Yeah, i told him that there is one person asking me out for quite frequent and I say ‘no’ (obviously, not in harsh way but just gives signal of a NO). Well, some ppl may not understand my situation. It is not like i don’t want to give him a chance at all. he is complete with everthing.. He is few years older than me, he got a job, kire dah stabil lah hidup, matured and all but the problem is coming from my own self.
My last relationship ended few years back and it was a thing i want to forget and i don’t really like to talk about it anyway. It is quite hard to forgive a guy like that. the kind of guy who just take things for granted and not appreciate things that i do. So, when he apologies, i didn’t replied. I didn’t hate him..It just thinking about him makes it hard to forgive myself either. so it’s better to stay quite rather than thinking what might be happened if i replied his text or what. I don’t know why for most guys, saying ‘sorry’ seems soooo easy. Thinking about this makes me laugh a lot. seriously.
So i guess u may understand how hard I am to put trust on guys. being played for several times is not a good experience or a good thing to be think of. I do admit, i do like lotsa ppl but mostly, i expected nothing. It is not like when you like somebody, you want to be with him. I think giving space and time to know each other is better bcz we don’t know, after few month, we’re just seeing each other as friend.
So, it is not like i’m not give loves chances, the fact that i am 24 years old..and yes for most ppl, might be desperate to find somebody but, this whole thing doesnt come to my mind at all. There is a lot of things i still loves to do by myself. And bcz of this, my best friend said that I am too terbiasa being single. Yes I do enjoyed my self being single. and hanging out with friends without even worrying your loves one. Yes i am not ready to have this kinda commitment just for now (alasan semata -.-‘). With my masters work, several part-time job that i’m doing now..I don’t think i could give time to him, give my attention to him. It is hurts to your loves kan.
but i do believe, when i finally meet somebody (who later i call as my love), both of us will definitely know that we are for each other.. and maybe the time is not here yet. I have no worries as i believe, There is always a good person for me somewhere, as long i’m being good to my parents, family sibling but majorly to The Almighty. InsyaAllah.
Ada apa dengan Valentine, bila ku ada teman-teman,cita cita dan masa depan.
p/s : it is not easy to stand alone but, you’re not going to die for being alone.
p/s/s : #np -Loneliness knows me by name.
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